I’m not going to waste your time. Those who know me would say. Im a straight shooter.
So let’s get right into it.
What is Nagging,
According to Edith Summerskill "Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths" or untruths I'll add. Either way, what stands out in that definition is the word "REPETITION" which means to say something over and over again. So the problem with nagging isn't whats being said but rather the repetition of it.
it is generally assumed that if we just let people know how we feel enough times they’ll finally understand. If we explain how much they have hurt us or we talk enough about the things we want, they’ll make it happen. Well, I’m sorry to inform you that while that might work in some strange cases, it just doesn’t work with masculine men period.
what is the nagging spirit ?
I’ll paint you a picture. You know when he does something that is incredibly annoying and you have to fight yourself trying to decide if you shut your mouth or let him have it. That intense pressure to react aggressively. That force that pushes you to pour it all out is what I call the nagging spirit. It surprises me how many women do this knowing it doesn’t work but continue to do it day after day. You don’t get extra points in heaven for repeating something that doesn’t work, whatever that is. If it’s not working it is best to find another way, a better way.
In femininity, self control is prime. A relaxed temperament is best.
This is not to say that feminine women do not get upset, or have room for anger, but the way that anger is shown or managed is what makes the difference.
How Men view Nagging.
To a man, now I’m not talking about dusty men here, I mean to a masculine man. Nagging is viewed as a controlling behavior. Men see this behavior as you trying to assert your wish on them or force them to do something that they otherwise are unwilling to do. Masculine men are naturally born to be dominant and being a nag-a-boo just comes off as belittling or a mommy child relationship. As we all know with men, when you push too hard, they either get combative or they run away or if they are stuck with you they just develop new vices to cope with the nagging spirit not that anything genuinely got better.
What is wrong with that you may ask? He cannot have it his way all the time and that’s absolutely true. But forcing someone to bend their will is not a feminine behavior there are several other ways to get your needs met besides trying to be a masculine female.
Excuse for bad behavior
I’ll tell you this. For a masculine man, nagging is a bestowed excuse for ill behavior. An excuse to a man is basically like a hall pass (to do whatever he wants to do). They can chose to walk away, they can chose to go have a drunk night out, a mistake situation, an oops, just name it. They would blame it on the nagging. A nagging suppose, wife, girlfriend is a masculine man’s worst nightmare and they either run for the hills or take advantage of the opportunity of using the my girl nags excuse, either of which is bad news for you.
Now, to what really works.
This is simple. The bible itself said it very clearly in James 1:19. It says “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” NIV. You would be surprised how much you can learn from just listening and even more surprised at how much effect a tamed mouth has on a masculine man.
Always remember Less is More when in an intense fellowship
Listen, listen listen
If anger is perceived, give him time to defuse by politely asking the conversation be adjourned.
If you are the one who is angry, exit the environment if you can’t find a way to stop talking. Sometimes that nagging spirit can be a little pushy haha so exit before you say something you’ll regret. Exiting an intense fellowship can be extremely powerful in expressing displeasure in anything. It doesn’t only prevent you from saying things you have to apologize for, or things you literally can’t take back. But it also gives him some time to think and process the situation.
During your time away, do something exciting for yourself. Go to a spa, get a massage, get your nails done, go shopping with his card for crying out loud but keep you words few, sparse and time appropriate. I promise you this, when you exit an intense fellowship and give him room to think, he will more than likely come back ready to hear you out or with a solution to ur problems.
Now, I hope my readers are just females, if so, I’ll let you in on a little secret. With a masculine man, nagging never works. Your action is what they respond to. Proper and time appropriate actions are a fail safe switch to every masculine man’s ___________ fill in the blank.
Read further on my next blog “The right feminine actions that can get you what you want with a Masculine Man”.
For those of you to whom nagging is second nature, how do u stop nagging you may ask? Honestly, I can’t say it any better than NIKE has already. Just Do It! Just stop, because not only does it not help anything, but it depletes your feminine charm and for a woman who basks in her femininity, that’s a no no.
Thanks for reading …