“Starting Over is NOT for the WEAK at Heart”

by Tohan Omorodion

​Forgiveness, Strength, Renewal

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“And suddenly you know it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.” -Unknown

So, I was talking with my dad yesterday and we explored the topic of starting over and how hard it can be sometimes. I’ve had to start over more than once before, and it was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do.

I remember being scared, of letting go of what I had gotten used to, I remember being afraid of what people may say, or not knowing what the future held.

​Dad says, Listen... “Starting over is not for the weak of heart, it takes guts”, and that’s so true. Starting over can be especially difficult for women, we tend to hang on to the past, we hold on to it for dear life, we daydream and hope or wish we could turn back the hands of time maybe then we would pick a better major in college, we could change the outcome ​of our relationships, we could save sex till our grays come out, we would be wiser, blah blah... Well unfortunately it all ends up being a big waste of time.

​Even the best of us have experienced some difficulty at some point, in various areas of our lives and we all know very well that it is so easy to give up and accept defeat when the going gets tough. But remembering that there’s a future you can influence ahead of you, can give you the boost to hit that reset button again.
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- The world may slow you down, it may knock you down, but never let it stop you, you get up and you keep moving.
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Here are a few tips that have helped start over when I need to.
Use these techniques to help you to start afresh and begin your new life, leaving the past behind you.
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Forgiveness and Acceptance

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“Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie
 
Sometimes, the effort to make peace might make you seem like a weakling, but it one of the greatest things anyone can seek for themselves. To forgive is to be at peace with yourself over the situation, whatever it may be.
 
Now I’m not talking forgetting, because there are some things you must remember to prevent you from making the same mistake. Besides, the famous “forgive and forget” is all a fallacy, the mare practice of this statement is self-deception and it's literally almost impossible except you somehow get knocked upside your head and or suffer from amnesia. Otherwise, we can mostly recall significant memories.
 
Harboring pain is just simply bad for you. There’s no better way to put it. The time you spend nurturing your pain is time wasted towards a better life. You will never be able to move on with life if you can’t accept the past and forgive the circumstances. Forgiveness sets you free.
 
If you don’t forgive the past and those who have wronged you, you give them the power to hold you back and bring negativity into your life. Use forgiveness to find your own freedom. With this freedom, you have gained the ability to start again.
 
Choose Courage Over Fear
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“Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.” -Winston S. Churchill
 
Choose to face every day with strength and courage and to let go of the fear that is holding you back. If you let it, fear will stop you from achieving your true potential and living your happiest, most successful life. Don’t allow fear to keep you rooted in the past when there is an entire world of opportunity just beyond your worries.
 
For sure,  It’s no easy thing to start again: it takes guts. However, if you believe in yourself and your inner strength, then there is nothing that can hold you back and you are guaranteed to succeed. You mustn’t give up, even though it may seem like the easiest option. Remember that your future and your happiness lie on the other side of your fears.
 
Life may slow you down, and knock you down, but never allow it to stop you. Don’t allow fear or weakness to control your life. Overcome what is holding you back and start again, anew.
 
Find Support in Family and Friends
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“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.” -Unknown
 
When you surround yourself with good people, even the toughest of tasks becomes a breeze. This has especially been true for me. Seek support from your family and friends to help you through your struggles and time of need. Those who love you will be more than willing to provide support and encouragement as you work on your new beginning. Remember that there is absolutely no shame in asking for help or support, and that bravery lies in accepting when you need help, and then asking for it.
 
Don’t be afraid to reach out to others when you are in need of help, this is not weakness, but strength. Use their support and encouragement to aid you in your fresh start and successes. Draw the positive energy from those around you and use it to drive your efforts. 

Focus on Hope for the Future
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“It’s never too late for a new beginning in your life.” -Joyce Meyers
 
Even though it can seem impossible at the time, you must leave the past where it belongs: in the past. Focus all your attention on your future and your fresh start, and never look back. Remember to constantly focus on thinking positively about the future and on leaving the negativity of the past behind you. Remember that the first step to moving on from the past is forgiveness.
 
Find your passion and excitement for your future and let this fuel you. Know that there are incredible things up ahead and all you have to do is go get it. Be excited for what is to come and all the opportunities that a fresh start brings.
 
Final Thoughts
New beginnings and starting over are not for the weak at heart: it takes guts, courage, and determination, but you can do it! And it will be worth it!
 
Allow yourself to find solace, courage, and support in your friends and family. Remember that there is no shame in using your support network, and always focus on the future and your hopes and goals for your new life.
 
 
Have you experienced a fresh start? Share your experiences in the comments below!