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By Tohan Omorodion Positive, Healthy, Confident  Image Source “Mirror, mirror on the wall, I’ll always get up after I fall. And whether I run, walk, or crawl, I’ll set my goals, and achieve them all.” -Chris Butler 1. Exercise  Image Source “Exercising constantly will build your character and have a positive impact on every aspect of your life.” -Gymaholic Exercising daily has been proven to lead to a happier, healthier, and more positive life. In order to boost your self esteem, making exercise a part of your daily routine is truly a necessity. This is because exercise releases endorphins, which are chemicals that make you feel happier and boost your mood, consequently leading to increased self esteem. Positivity and happiness are directly correlated to increased self esteem and therefore participating in activities that increase your overall happiness, such as exercise, will also increase your self esteem. And vice versa! The healthier you feel, the more confident you will be. Exercise makes you feel better in more ways than one: it can make you feel physically healthier and stronger, it can make you feel slimmer and more attractive, and it can also make you feel more mentally and emotionally stable due to the release of endorphins. In particular, feeling healthier has a dramatic effect on self esteem as it increases your positive self image which, in turn, increases self esteem. Exercising can also help you to lose any weight that might be lowering your self esteem and therefore raise your confidence as you become healthier. 2. Set Realistic Goals and Forget Perfectionism  Image Source “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” -Henry David Thoreau Perfection is an affliction that curses far too many of us. However, if you want to increase your self-esteem, you’re going to have to abandon your inner perfectionist- little goody too-shoes has got to take a back seat while you focus on setting realistic goals for yourself. You will need to realize that nobody is perfect, and to focus on what is possible for you to complete successfully, and realistically. Remember, perfection isn’t realistic for anyone. No matter how it may look from the outside (the grass is always greener, isn’t it?), no one is perfect; we all make mistakes and we all have our limitations. If you set goals that you can realistically complete, you’ll stop beating yourself up for being unable to do the impossible and will find greater satisfaction and contentment in your successes. Allow yourself to succeed by setting realistic goals instead of forcing yourself to fail by only accepting perfection. 3. Focus on the Small Things  Image Source “Success is a series of small wins.” -Unknown A common misconception is that success only counts if it’s big, and amazing, and life changing. You will need to reevaluate your understanding of success and everyday victories in life in order to achieve the greatest level of self esteem possible and to see your triumphs for what they truly are. All you did today was get out of bed? That’s a victory in itself. You made breakfast without burning the house down? I call that a success. You did the dishes before they piled up? Go you! You made it to work on time? You’re doing great! You only cried once this week into a bottle of wine? Awesome! And so on and so forth, I think you understand the message here. Celebrate the small victories in life, the everyday triumphs, and the seemingly unimportant successes and you’ll soon notice a drastic boost in your self esteem. Recognize that every day is full of success and achievement in order to better comprehend just how much you are achieving every single day. 4. Spend Time Doing What You Love  Image Source “Let’s do what we love and do a lot of it.” -Marc Jacobs Life is busy. Sometimes there doesn’t even seem like there’s a second to breathe. However, no matter how busy life gets, it is vital for your sanity, happiness, and self esteem to spend at least a little time every single day doing something that you love. Doing things that you enjoy will decrease stress and lead to increased positivity, both of which greatly boost self esteem. Any hobbies or activities that you enjoy will have these effects, but creative activities are especially effective in releasing stress and having a calming, positive effect on life. Make sure to set aside some time each and every day (yes, every day,) to do something that you love and you’ll reap the positive benefits of these activities in no time at all. 5. Be Mindful: Turn Negative Self Talk Positive  Image Source “Train your mind to see the good in everything. Positivity is a choice. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.” -Marcandangel If you think negatively, you’ll find yourself surrounded in negativity and pessimism, and your self-esteem and self-worth will decrease drastically. Pay attention to when the negative thoughts start to creep in and change them to positive ones, especially those thoughts that are particularly negative about yourself. Constantly remember to keep thinking positively about yourself and to be your own cheerleader. Counter every negative thought with something positive and you’ll soon notice that your confidence goes through the roof. An effective technique to beat negative thoughts about yourself is that every time that you think something negative about yourself, ask yourself, would you think this about your friends? Your mother? If not, you certainly shouldn’t be thinking it about yourself. Be sure to give yourself the same love and respect that you give to others. 6. Stop Comparing  image Source “A secret to happiness is letting every situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be, and then making the best of it.” -Unknown We all do it: compare our lives and ourselves to those around us. But life isn’t a competition, or a race: remember that. Comparing yourself to others will only lead to envy, jealousy, depression, and decreased self esteem and self worth. Remember that there’s no set timeline for life and that everyone’s lives move at their own uniquely individual pace. So what you graduated college at twenty six but most of your friends graduated at twenty two? You graduated! That’s an incredible achievement - be proud of yourself! Mary across the street is getting married next year and the only male you’ve been close to in months is your cat, Alfred? Good for her, your true love will come along before you know it! You’re turning thirty and thought you would have kids by now? That’s okay, life doesn’t have to turn out exactly the way you expected it to still be beautiful and amazing: you’ll have tiny footsteps running around before you know it! Remember to appreciate and celebrate your own successes instead of comparing them to those of other people. Someone else’s success doesn’t have any effect on your own, and their success definitely doesn’t decrease the value or worth of your own, despite what you may sometimes think. Always focus on yourself and your happiness first and stop concerning yourself with others. Remember also that the grass is always greener on the other side and that social media, and what others tell you, can be deceiving. Social media only shows the best side of a person’s life, you don’t get to see what goes on behind their closed doors. No one has a perfect life, no matter what your Instagram feed may look like. 7. Spread the Love: Help Yourself by Helping Others  Image Source “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” -Unknown I’m telling you this from experience, there’s just something about putting a smile on the face of another that feels so good. One of the best ways to feel better about your accomplishments is when people gain form it. One of the best ways to feel better about yourself, and therefore to boost your self-esteem, is helping others. Charity to others is charity to yourself. Helping others in need is incredibly effective in improving your mood and self-worth, as well as in fighting feelings of negativity and depression. Volunteer at your local food bank, participate in a charity run, walk the dogs at the local shelter, donate to charity: do anything that helps your community and those around you. As you help others, you will also help yourself by improving your outlook, mood, positivity, and self-esteem. It’s a win-win situation! 8. Make a List of Your Strengths  Image Source “Mirror, mirror on the wall, I’ll always get up after I fall. And whether I run, walk, or crawl, I’ll set my goals, and achieve them all.” -Chris Butler Take the time to sit down and try to make a list of your strengths and positive attributes. If you can’t think of many, or any, on your own, ask a friend or family member: they’re sure to have plenty. Read this list every morning when you wake up to start your day off with a healthy dose of positivity and to boost your self-esteem, self-image, and self-confidence. For an extra dose of positivity, read this list again right before bed, to start and end the day right. 9. Surround Yourself with Positive People  Image Source “Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” -Unknown The people and environments that we surround ourselves with have a massive impact on our lives: from our outlook on life, to our thoughts, and even our self-image. If you surround yourself with positive people who boost you up instead of tearing you down, you will find that your life becomes more positive and that you’ll develop a healthier, more positive image of yourself, thereby boosting your self-esteem. Keep your company with those who discuss positive ideas and experiences instead of those who focus on the negative in the world in order to have a more positive outlook on life, and to see the beauty in every day. 10. Practice Self-Care: From Sleep to Personal Hygiene  Image Source
“Document the moments you feel most in love with yourself - what you’re wearing, who you’re around, what you’re doing. Recreate and repeat.” -Warsan Shire Self-care is so incredibly essential for self-esteem, and is so often overlooked. Simply put: look good, feel good. Now, it’s important to note that looking good doesn’t have to mean that you’re a stick thin model, it simply means making sure you’re presentable and have taken care of basic personal hygiene. Dress in whichever way makes you feel the most confident, whether it be sweatpants or a ball gown, dress for yourself and your own comfort. For the extra self-esteem boost, go the extra mile: get a manicure, rock a new haircut, treat yourself. If you’re not feeling like the goddess that you are, ask yourself: have I showered recently? Brushed my teeth today? Brushed my hair? Drank water? Taken my medications? If any of these answers are no, fix it. Make sure to take time out of your day to practice self-care and relax; you have to look after yourself before you can take care of anyone else. Always try to get at least eight hours of sleep a day and to create a regular sleeping pattern as sleep reduces stress and increases positivity. Reducing your stress by practicing self-care will have a massive positive impact on your self-esteem and overall happiness. Final Thoughts Boosting your self-esteem may seem impossible at first, but just follow these ten simple steps and you will see dramatic results in no time at all. Practice these ten techniques every single day and soon you’ll be doing them without even thinking about it. Repetition forms habits! Remember: exercise, set realistic goals, focus on the small things, spend time doing what you love, be mindful, stop comparing, make a list of your strengths, surround yourself with positive people, and practice self-care. How have you improved your self-esteem? Share your techniques in the comments below!
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