by Tohan Omorodion
Be very mindful of Frenemies
Alright, so last week one of my mentee sent me an email and she had a very tough time dealing with someone whom she thought was her best friend, business partner, and better half turned evil. We later spoke and she couldn’t really wrap her mind around how someone whom she thought was perfect for her could hurt her to the extent. Unfortunately, for her that day I also had my own issues to deal with so I wasn’t really in the mood for a long talk.
I am a good listener though so I did the listening part very well but I had to excuse myself from the conversation and promised to get back with her in a couple of days encouraging her to hang tight cos dude… I had a few things of my own to sort out real quick. I did get back to her later and heard a lot of pain in her voice she was completely distraught, distressed, and broken. After listening for a long while, really there was nothing I could say at that time that could make the situation any better it really was a complete mess.
Instead of talking about her situation I decided to tell her about a recent event I had experienced, the point was not to ignore her situation but rather to distract her from beating the dead horse. At the end of our conversation I said look most times what appears to be the end is usually the beginning of something beautiful if you let it… It’s okay to brood, hell…I’ll even brood with you for a while but at some point you have to be willing to open yourself up to embrace a beautiful whiff of fresh air. She asked….
Your life looks so perfect, how do you keep the smile on your face?
How do you stay relaxed?…. I said yoga? lol
How do you stay so positive …. I said that's just a choice lol?
See, you know it’s funny how everyone always thinks the other person’s life is perfect until you hear their story and then you realize you don’t really have much of a problem after all… problems are like an ass, everyone’s got one, but how you let it affect you is the question you must ask yourself. One thing I have learned from the wise ones around me like my parents and other grey haired folks hehe… is that perfection is an illusion but a good and happy life is a CHOICE.
Really, you can chose to be happy or sad, full or empty, angry or calm. Whatever it is you want out of life and your response to life’s issues is totally a choice.
...And finally she asked, so what’s your mantra?…
Mantra? I personally don’t have one specific Mantra but I do strongly believe in this phrase, - "If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you must develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude."... Colin Powell … the point is “your attitude is everything”. Well there, I guess I just came up with my Mantra hehe… “Attitude is everything”.
Although today, right now, I’m listening to SUPA PEACH – Numero Uno and got this song on repeat right now, because I’m on my grind mood this morning and got a long list of things to accomplish today and when I’m in that mood this song gives me the Red Bull effect.
But below is the video where I first heard that Collin Powell phrase years ago and till date I listen to this quite frequently,
I’ve shared this with several people in the past. The point of this is the same point I shared with my mentee, and it’s that people are just who they are - people, but you get to choose with whom and how you relate with them and in what proximity because ultimately you are who surround yourself with.
Truer Words Were Never Spoken
The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.
Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.
An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.
As you grow, your associates will change.
Some of your friends will not want you to go on.
They will want you to stay where they are.
Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl.
Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream.
Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you.
Never receive counsel from unproductive people.
Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how.
Not everyone has a right to speak into your life.
You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person.
Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere.
With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it.
Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life.
Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships.
If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.
"A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses."
The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate - for the good and the bad.
Note: Be not mistaken.
This is applicable to family as well as friends.
Yes...do love, appreciate and be thankful for your family, for they will always be your family no matter what.
Just know that they are human first and though they are family to you, they may be a friend to someone else and will fit somewhere in the criteria above.
"In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us.
In Adversity We Know Our Friends." …John Churton Collins
"Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them."
"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude."... Colin Powell
Do you have a Mantra? mind sharing?