By Tohan Omorodion
Accept, Learn, Grow
“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” -Marianne Williamson
Each and every one of us have a past: a beautiful, terrible mixture of every event, person, and memory of our lives. “He that has no past is not yet born”. The past ultimately shapes who we are as people, but it doesn’t have to define us. You have the power over how much the past controls you. Make the decision to free yourself from it and live for the present and the future.
Mistakes, hurts, and disappointments are all a part of the human experience of life, but so are love, joy, happiness and fulfillment. Focus on the positive aspects of your past and your experiences, and free yourself from the negatives. You must accept your past, learn from it, and grow as a person because of it, but never let it hold you back or prevent you from reaching your goals or true potential.
Don’t Let the Past Define You
“When something bad happens to you, you have three choices: you can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” -Unknown
There will be voices, both inside and outside of your head, that judge you for your past traumas and mistakes. Ignore all of them. Instead, realize and accept that the past is over and that the only thing allowing it to have any influence over you, is you. You are in control of the effect that the past has on you, and you must decide to let it go and move on.
Remember, your past does not define you, it is not who you are. You get to define who you are and choose what kind of person you are going to be. You can be whoever you want to be, and the past cannot take that from you.
You don’t have to forget the past in order to move on, but you do have to forgive it. Be sure to avoid self-righteousness and remain humble and modest, despite what you have overcome. Everyone has their own troubles and triumphs, and our individual struggles do not make us better or worse than anyone else.
Never Accept Emotional Blackmail
Emotional blackmail is the use of fear, guilt of the past and obligation as a means of control. You may feel like what people think about you matter, but guess what, in the real scheme of things people’s opinions are just that, opinions. It adds absolutely nothing to your life. Never let anyone use your past as a bargaining chip for your future.
Stay away from those who judge you for your pa, good or bad. Stay with those who love you now and are excited for your future. Keep your eyes ahead and even when you look back it should be for a value of how far you’ve come and never in regret because there’s nothing present without a past and no future without the present.
Set Yourself Free and Live
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” -Lewis Smedes
Break the chains of the past. You owe it to yourself first, to forgive yourself and then those who have hurt you. Then you can heal and move on to a better, brighter life. You don’t have to forget the past to be free from it, but you can choose to only focus on the positives and to let the negatives fade to dust.
You don’t get to control your past, but you can control your life and your future. Be free from your past and live the future that you’ve always dreamed of. Without the past holding you back, you will open yourself up to a happier, healthier, more successful life.
Don’t forget we all have a past, but how much of a positive or negative effect you let your past have on your future is completely up to you. you can choose to be held bound by your past or embrace the future. My advice, just like Elsa from Frozen – LET IT GO! Our failures and trials are an invaluable part of the human experience that binds us all together, so don’t let yourself or others judge you for them.
How have you gained your freedom from your past? Share your techniques in the comments below!