by Tohan Omorodion
Positivity, more positivity & Support
“Haters will see you walk on water and say it’s because you can’t swim.” -Steve Maraboli.
The people that we surround ourselves with have a massive impact on our lives. This impact can be much greater than you would ever think and can completely change how we see ourselves and the world around us, either in negative or positive ways. Have you ever spent time with someone and just felt drained and grey after you leave? I sure know I have!
Some people in this world refuse to see the positive in life and only focus on the negatives and what can go wrong. They will refuse to ever see anything good (think the Scrooge, but worse….). If you surround yourself with these types of people, their negativity and pessimism will rub off on you. Just like sneezes, it’s contagious.
To break free of these haters you will need to create healthy relationships (I know, I know, what does “healthy” even mean? All shall be revealed my friends). I define healthy relationships as one you have with people who are positive, lift you up, and challenge you to reach your full potential: not those who drag you down into despair.
Haters are always going to hate, there’s simply nothing we can do to change this. Even they don’t know how to change this behavior.
Question: How many haters does it take to change a light bulb? None.
They fear change; even if it can make the world a brighter place. (Joke from Joe Kopler).
Haters Gonne Hate
“Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.” -Unknown
The greatest nugget of wisdom (at least in my opinion) that the early 2000s gifted us (the early 2000s were a gift in themselves,) with was this gem: “haters gonna hate” from 3LW. True knowledge and comprehension of the human mind right there. Despite its rather crude (but beautifully concise) packaging, this quote really does describe a vital component in the human experience: no matter how perfect and amazing you may be, there will always be people who want to bring you down and fill your life with negativity. Jesus had limitless haters, but a group of twelve true friends and even amongst the twelve, there was still a hater. And if that’s enough for him, it’s enough for me.
My friend Maricela and I were talking the other day and she was trying to show me a video on YouTube, and the video said “ No matter how perfect you are, you’ll never be right for the wrong person” and “no matter how worthless you are you’ll always be worthy for the right person”
That’s deep huh? , exactly what I said. But in translation, be you and those who like you will and don’t sweat the haters.
Unfortunately, there is absolutely nothing unique about haters, they are like flies on a cow’s ass. Nothing will ever be enough to get rid of them. All you can do is to focus on yourself, your own truth, and your own happiness, and leave these haters in the dust.
Rid Yourself of Negativity
“Be so positive that negative people don’t want to be near you.” -Unknown
As you try to improve yourself, understand that those who are toxic and negative in your life will try to manipulate you into thinking that your self-growth and improvement makes you “snobbish” or “selfish”. Ignore these influences and focus on your own growth and happiness. Remember that becoming a better person doesn’t mean that you are a snob or think of yourself as better than others, but simply as better than your past self. Also, sometimes it is necessary to put your own happiness and health first. This doesn’t make you selfish, this makes you human. Taking care of yourself is necessary before you can even think about helping others.
One of my favorite hater quotes - “you think you’re all that”. Haters use quotes like this as well as other belittling and manipulative techniques to make you think that you can’t improve yourself and your positivity without losing people. This of course, is a complete lie. Negative people are like leeches and they cannot stand the idea of you finding your own happiness.
This crowd of haters can sometimes seem completely inescapable and overwhelming, so wiggle through to the light at the other side. As Dory always says, “just keep swimming”. You must keep focusing on yourself and your future and ignore those who try to bring you down. Replace any negative thoughts with positive ones and you will be surprised to see just how much of a difference this will make on your life.
Become the amazing, healthy, positive person that you were always meant to be. Give those haters something to really talk about.
Create Healthy Relationships
“People with purpose, goals, and visions have no time for drama. They invest their energy in creativity and focus on living a positive life.” -Unknown
Surround yourself with positive, optimistic people (find yourself those 12 disciples!) and you’ll find their uplifting attitude will rub off on you and give you a much happier outlook on life and a much more positive view of yourself. These people will challenge you to become the best, most positive version of yourself instead of trying to hold you back or to stop your self-growth.
These relationships will flourish with mutual benefit instead of thriving from toxicity and harm to one party. The support and encouragement that you will find in these types of relationships can be truly life altering.
Be the shining light in the darkness and you will draw positive people to yourself. Remain optimistic and positive always (or at least as often as you can, nobody’s perfect). However, practice does makes perfect! Control and shape your thoughts each and every day and soon you’ll find yourself replacing negatives with the positives subconsciously.
Unfortunately, there will always be negative and toxic people (a.k.a. Haters) in this world that want to bring you down and dim your shine. However, these people can’t hurt you unless you give their words and actions the power over you.
Ignore the haters and focus on your own growth and positivity and always surround yourself with positive people and keep your thoughts positive in order to change your outlook on life and your view of yourself. Wiggle your way through the crowd of haters and into the light. It may not always be an easy journey, but I promise you can do it!
How have you gained your freedom from the haters? Share your techniques in the comments below!