a broken heart - Farewell FUmi Omoarukhe atagamen

by Tohan Omorodion

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​I woke up this morning, I could barely open my eyes, from my bed the floor seem to have sunken. It seem so far away and I wanted to lay there all day. But when you have responsibilities you just have to find a way to get your ass up. Well, I got up and stumbled across my bedroom. I starred at my reflection in my bathroom mirror still in disbelief of the things that had occurred over the weekend.

​Well, last Saturday, I was having a wonderful time talking to my KKD as we routinely do. Had family over and we were bullshitting all day. Playing and dancing to Fargin by Teni all day. We spent hours arguing about stupid stuff like boobs and butt jobs, Kim Kardashian, and the almighty “Olympus has fallen” butt of Nicki Minaj… look it was just a great day alright! Well, it was until I decided to check my Facebook page and then everything changed. The very first thing I saw hit me in the face like a 10lb brick. We spoke not very long ago, so obviously this isn't true, right? i thought. Suddenly, I dropped to the ground and started to ball my eyes out. I wept and sobbed like a baby. My cousin quickly picked me up, pulled me on to the couch wrapped me in her hands while trying to figure out what I saw that got me so broken.

She was everything, an angel in the face of my friend and sister, she was a mom, a wife, she was a friend she was my best friend since I was 9 years old.  We fought like cat and dog, we wrote letters to each other as kids, we went to church together. We would switch out our shoes at church, just one foot each. We made fun of people together, we were the church’s news casters. We both had a crush on Denzel Washington as kids and she always said she would name her son Denzel.  

I still remember the day we rode on a motorcycle home together as kids. Well it was our first time getting on a bike we were so little. Our parents had no idea we were doing this. It started to rain and the whole ride was so uncomfortable and scary, I felt like the bike galloped through literally every single pothole and mud pit of Benin City. It was like the okada man made every effort to avoid any good road or perhaps it was his first day ever riding a motorcycle. We were so little smh….we were so scared we held on tightly to each other and the bike man as we swayed in every direction. Even the okada man self dey fear… in attempt to stop the motorcycle, we all started to wobble, everything was shaking and before you know it we fell flat on our face in a giant pit of mud.

​I have the fondest memories of us together and even when distance kept us a world apart, she always had my heart and I had hers. 

But on Saturday she broke my heart, she left just like that, without saying good bye I was in pieces and it tore me all up inside. Dad always told me “girl don’t you cry when you’re sad, there’s a reason for everything”. Yet, there’s still a tear on my cheek every time I blink.
I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying so hard to remember that a ‘heart that’s broken is a heart that’s been loved’ – ed Sheeran

​For the first time today, I am able to talk about it. The past few days It got me so down I had no choice but to numb the way it felt by shoving this so far back... I avoided every social media, just anything and everyone that would remind me of this pain. I was upset, I was upset with Fumi, I was upset with me, I was upset with Chisom, I was upset at everything, and I was upset with everyone.
​
…but back to the mirror, I starred at myself, and thinking about the past few days reminded me to cherish
Every moment,
Every love,
Every life.
Be grateful for yesterday,
And be thankful for today 

FAREWELL MY DARLING

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​Today, the strength I prayed for finally came and I can now say sail on my Fumi Omoarukhe Atagamen. My sister, My friend, My love. Spread your wings as you go, keep that smile as broad as ever, because I know for sure that I can say for a fact! that when God took you back he said Hallelujah because heaven gained an angel.